The body wants to feel safe
Disclaimer: This message includes the topics of weight and food, which could be triggering for some. This message is meant to challenge cultural norms, and our current practices. You may disagree. That is okay. We can have healthy discourse about these topics. You may also feel a giant sigh of relief. All are welcome here.
I rarely (if ever) entertain conversations about weight when it comes to yoga practice, pregnancy, or postpartum. To me, it’s one of the least interesting things about a person and not necessarily a full indicator of health…plus, I have my own disordered eating/exercising past and it can be painful to revisit if I’m truly honest.
And yet, it can be the elephant in the room so we might as well talk about weight freely in this space, bringing love to the topic.
Let’s start here:
The body wants to feel safe. And, it will do whatever it deems necessary to sustain survival. We are primal beings. We are mammals. We are nature. We are not separate from her no matter how much our logical brains evolve.
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The other day, I went on Pinterest to search postpartum style for some inspiration to get me out of my leggings and milk stained sweatshirts…The majority of my search results turned out to be “how to lose weight postpartum.” This is why I generally steer clear of sites like these, the degrading messaging is everywhere. A pin read: Lose the baby weight in six weeks (or something like that). And, curiosity got the best of me. I clicked it.
I was appalled and saddened. THIS is the advice we’re peddling to women. And, it doesn’t stop throughout our lives. Enough already.
A smoothie for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and WALKING for FORTY-FIVE (45) minutes a day RIGHT AFTER a baby is born was what the article recommended (generally speaking) to lose weight.
Solely smoothies and salads are not appropriate foods for postpartum healing (or any physical healing) and that much movement so early postpartum is a recipe for possible injury - diastasis, prolapse, joint problems, the list goes on. This regimen could also tank milk supply if you’re breastfeeding.
This type of “protocol” does not nourish the body, the tissues, nor does it support the generation of a steady, nutrient dense milk supply. Imagine, a woman/individual grows a life, grows a new organ, generates more blood volume, then births that human(s) from her body, and THEN makes FOOD to continue to sustain life…and we treat her body like this? The body will not feel safe. Sure, weight may come off rather quickly, but what happens later? Is this type of practice sustainable? Does it set the body up for long term health and well-being?
Note: I want to also honor the fact that some of us reading this message didn’t know. Or we didn’t have a choice. We might have had limited food options or needed to jump back into work quickly or whatever the case after having a baby. This isn’t about making anyone feel bad, this is about changing the norm for women and birthing people moving forward. Yes? And, further, smoothies and salads aren’t “bad.” They just aren’t particularly supportive from an Ayurvedic perspective when it comes to healing (I talk about this in depth in my programs).
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The body longs to feel safe.
Let’s move beyond postpartum.
If the body has been starved of nourishment, it will hold onto all the weight and calories it can get. I mean nourishment as food, but also beyond food (i.e. the right movement, rest, loving touch, etc.).
If the body is stressed out and constantly in a state of overwhelm, our primal nature will kick in and it will still hold onto all the nourishment it can get. Sometimes this manifests as a holding of extra weight and calories, regardless of how much we already weigh. Ancestrally, our bodies believe that there might be a time of famine or crisis, and so it will do whatever it needs to do to survive…and to keep our babies alive. Remember, we are primal beings.
So, the question becomes: How do we create safety in our bodies? Even when the mind logically knows that we are “safe” from harm and starvation, the body does not…it receives the messaging that we’re giving it.
This is why yoga therapy is such a powerful practice, because it works with the body, with nature’s wisdom, and with the emotions.
To create safety in the body:
We practice nourishing movement. If we’re already stressed in the mind, adding in solely intense forms of exercise can backfire. Like increases like.
We EAT, and we fill our plates with nourishing foods that align with the rhythms of nature. We learn our cues for hunger and true satiation.
We slow down. Even just a little bit. While we’re eating, while we’re moving, while we’re in the presence of others. The breath can help with this.
We eliminate the habits and practices that get in the way of our well-being (martyrdom, perfectionism, lack of boundaries, too full calendars, etc.).
We learn to meditate and how to practice breathwork that will soothe the nervous system (and we don’t learn this properly from Instagram or Tik Tok alone).
We bring beauty to our environments and everyday routines. We light candles, listen to beautiful music, get fresh flowers, and so on.
We cultivate daily rituals and sacred practices, like a morning tea and meditation, an evening journaling or prayer practice, etc.
We LAUGH. We tell and listen to stories. We have rich conversations that nourish the spirit.
We go outside!
We ask for help with childcare, meals, bodywork, grocery store runs, etc. We rest.
This is the real self-care. This is also community care.
When the body feels safe, she will naturally bring herself to balance. That may not look like the Pinterest photos or whatever, but it will look like you. I have so many stories of women who upped their caloric intake to help their bodies feel nourished, who switched up their movement practices to bring more love and ease to the body, who let go of depleting habits…and then found greater peace in their minds, hearts, and, yes, a healthier body.
As I say often, the thing isn’t always the thing. The “weight” isn’t always the issue. It goes deeper, it’s even more interesting. And, as a woman, I would much rather soak in words like these…that celebrate the beauty within, that get to the heart of the matter, rather than continue to demand that my appearance is an indicator of my happiness.
You already know that Afterglow: The Perinatal Mentorship is open for pre-sale enrollment. What does that mean? It means that you’re ready to learn more and perhaps invest in yourself without every single detail in type. This mentorship is all about creating a feeling of safety and nourishment in your body, while also navigating a new identity alongside other women. We will NOT be focused on the superficial, but will be going to the roots, the core, the heart. This will create a deeper connection with ourselves, and in turn our babies and partners.
Please schedule a Clarity Call with me here to talk about your needs and if this is a fit for you. Because of the intimacy of the experience, we must have this preliminary call. Those who enroll during the pre-sale (by February 25) will receive a special discounted rate.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Does your body feel safe? What creates safety in your body? Have you felt the societal pressure around appearance (I mean…c’mon)? Write to me. I read every word.
Jai Ma.
With love,
Leanne
