What’s a well rested woman

Navaratri blessings to you! Today is the seventh day and eighth night of Navaratri, known as the nine nights of the Goddess. It’s a tradition practiced in Tantric and Indian spiritual lineages that celebrates the presence of Durga Ma and her protection of humanity.

The story goes that a particular asura that morphed into a group of asuras (demons) grew to power, causing destruction on Earth and no one could stop them. Not the three most powerful Gods in creation. Not the humans on Earth. The people of the world and the world itself was in serious danger… Enter Goddess Durga who was called upon to go into battle.

Durga Ma is power incarnate. Not the power “over” so dominant in the overculture, but the power within. She is created directly from the essence of Shakti, the primordial feminine energy of creation itself. When you see her, you notice her eight arms filled with weapons - a trident, a bow and quiver of arrows, a spear - and also they are filled with prayer beads, a lotus flower, a conch shell. Each has meaning and purpose.

What we witness from the story of Durga is that we can be both Warrior and Peacekeeper, and that sometimes (oftentimes) both are required. Durga does defeat the demons after nine nights of battle where she eventually produces Goddess Kali to help her. Two forms in their feminine essence.

Very few traditions celebrate the Devi side of consciousness, the feminine side, and we need to celebrate that in our world now. You know what I mean. Even if so many of us are muddled on what the feminine actually is…and how to rest in it. To be clear, we’re also muddled on what the masculine actually is, confusing it for patriarchy, but that’s a letter for another time.

Let’s come back to the fact that Durga is a Warrior goddess, yes, and she’s also a MOTHER goddess. You’ll see imagery of her riding a lion (a LION), heading into battle, and you’ll also see her riding that same lion peacefully with her child. She holds both in the balance, and offers the continuum of what it means to mother - whether we have biological children or mother in other valuable ways. She recognizes that we are moved to anger and to disrupt because of the injustices to our children - our birth children, foster children, adoptive children, the children we teach, the individuals we care for, the Earth we steward, and so on…

We’ve forgotten that this type of rage is sacred, that it inspires us to embody the essence of Durga and alchemize rage into change, into building a world of new possibilities, into righting wrongs and reversing patterns that are not sustainable. This does not come with solely be gentle, good, and nice. Make sense?

Durga also knows when to rest. There are other interpretations to the story that share this celebration of Navaratri is learning how to rest and lean into the arms of the Mother energy. It’s not a time to push, it’s not a time to start something new. It’s a time to rest as much as possible. To meditate. To be still. To journal. To put music on and dance with your beloved, children, and friends. To make simple, nourishing meals and so on. We intentionally do our day to day work and set aside other distractions - social media, too many activities, too full calendars.

Because without rest, we have nothing. Not our health. Not our clarity. Not our patience. We cannot hear what the right next steps are for us as the individual, which will be different than what might be normal.

I’ve been seeing this meme going around on social media A LOT lately…something like, “I’ve never known a well-rested woman. Ambitious women. Productive women. Yes.” It’s a longer post that I feel like everyone has been passing around lately. It ends with “and I would like to be one.” A well rested woman.

Here’s the thing. I DO know well rested women. They are living among us in the wild.

I don’t know many, but I sit as metaphorically close as I can to the ones in my sphere. These are women who have unraveled themselves from societal norms that harm - the unquestioned ambition, addiction to productivity, twisted celebration of too full calendars. They have unhooked themselves from finding validation in external sources. They do not require others to “go through what they went through” as any rite of passage.

They are late sometimes. They say yes to joy. They also say no when needed.
They take days (sometimes a week) to respond to emails. They do not rush.
They do not see their children as a reflection of themselves. They nap. They practice yoga nidra.
They deeply trust their path. They get swept up in modern life like we all do and feel stressors,
and they also know that nothing is more important than the protection of their energy.
They are mothers. They have businesses. They work. They stay home.
They have uncomfortable conversations with their bosses, partners, and family members.

Rest is a power move. The real internal kind of power. Not power over another, but the power channeled from within.

Navaratri asks us to celebrate the Warrior and to celebrate the Mother. It asks us to learn how to be mothered and mother ourselves. To turn off Netflix at night, and instead light a candle and breathe. To delete social media apps and find something more restorative to do or not do. To not get so swept up in performance metrics and achievement, but rather the patience, presence, life altering love bestowed to Self and family. To seriously examine a life path and if it’s contributing to the health of Self, family and community or if it’s really not…and having the courage to change course if necessary.

How does that sound?

May you rest deeply over the next week in whatever ways are possible for you. It needn’t be dramatic. Including today, we have two more nights to celebrate Navaratri. And, you can do this alongside your current spiritual practices. Place some fresh flowers on an altar or end table. Light candles. Practice. Meditate. Have gratitude for you and the feminine energies in your life. It’s that simple.

Learning to embody the qualities through practice is the way we take this into everyday life. It is a patient, consistent, reverent practice. There’s no secret. If you’d like bring the well rested woman into your own life - and trust me, I do! - I’ll be sharing some new experiences soon.

May you learn to embrace your human-ness. May you receive love. May you respect and welcome all aspects of you - the rage, the anger, the sadness. May you alchemize it with calmness, clarity and the courage to act.

I’m sending you love and joy.

Jai Ma,
Leanne