The art of surrender - Part 1.
Surrender is a funny thing. Most of us resist surrender with a fiery passion. Surrender?? Who me? Isn’t that like giving up?? But, I MUST push through!
We fight to the metaphorical death, which often looks like burnout, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, a tight and contracted body, various states of physical dis-ease.
I am no exception.
Most gurus of yoga would say that the pinnacle of yoga practice is Ishwara Pranidhana, i.e. surrender. Everything we practice points to this. Meditation and even the pose, Savasana, is a symbol of learning how to surrender to the Divine. We turn our palms to the sky and say literally or figuratively, I let go…you know better than my mind and the egoic me.
Surrender is learning how to honor that internal voice (which is the same as divinity/God/Goddess). It’s having the courage to listen and to move from that place.
It’s recognizing when doors are closing…that those really aren’t your doors. At least for right now, but maybe not ever.
It’s recognizing the difference between a boulder we keep pushing up a mountain forever, and a challenge we move through just for a time.
It’s feeling the difference between ease and easy, knowing that what is truly meant for us will make itself available to us…even if there are moments of fear, doubt, external “no’s” and so forth.
The last five years have been a giant surrendering for me…over and over again. And only just recently, I noticed that certain patterns are really rippling to the surface. Patterns that I need to interrupt so that I can finally learn the lessons, burn through those Karmas and trust the path that is for me. Surrendering anew.
If I’m honest, I have had several big disappointments in the last six months.
Certifications that will not be completed or reviewed for at least another few years. Positions I cannot take. Professional ideologies that clash. Letting go of certain experiences and ideas. Houses we did not make the highest bids on. Illness that seems to sweep through the house, go, and then return again. Struggles with childcare. A recognition that my “plans” are not God’s plans…at least for right now.
I could let that alongside the many horrors of the world harden me, but I will not.
I will lean into the many ways I can be soft with myself and others, rather than hard.
I will remember that I have also been a witness to supreme joys in my family life these last months.
You might have seen on Instagram or Facebook that we’re expecting baby #3 (!!!). That joy and all the emotions that a new baby brings alongside so many disappointments in other facets of life has been interesting to navigate. It’s a redirection into the art of surrender.
Surrender also asks us to find stillness…perhaps more stillness than we want and to listen, really listen to what the moment is asking of us. Not what we want of the moment or from the moment. There’s a true discernment between the desire of the mind and the desire of the heart. What an internal battle can ensue between the two! Yet, the heart is paramount.
With that, here are some changes I want to share with you:
I am sunsetting private yoga therapy work for a time…maybe a few years, maybe more. This means I will continue to work with current private yoga therapy clients, but will not be taking on more for the foreseeable future. This means I am moving slowly to one day set up the Afterglow Foundation, knowing that may take years. And, that’s okay.
I will not be opening the Perinatal Yoga Training, Afterglow, in winter of 2024. With this baby coming in the Spring, I do not want to overextend myself. I will reevaluate when to open up registration after this third birth and postpartum experience…which I’m sure will make everything even richer. <3
The Nourish Circle will continue to be open for anyone who wants on-demand movement and meditation classes as a resource! I also feel like this program wants to expand, and I’m letting myself play with that a bit. I will let you know of any new developments.
I have had this message sitting in a draft mode for about five weeks. Letting go of what I thought I would be doing at this point in my life…well that’s not easy, is it? As a dear friend, student, and client shared with me when I let her know of this pregnancy, “Leanne, please take care of yourself.” You know who you are. <3 Sometimes, taking care means navigating that art of surrender.
With that, there is one more thing I want to tell you. I’ll share more in Part 2 in a few days.
Jai Ma.
With love,
Leanne
P.S. These letters will not change! When I write to you, I think of these letters like “honey paper.” Something sweet that you can read and sip to over tea that [hopefully] inspires the way you move through your days as the Vedas have inspired me. I hope you’ll stick around (no pun intended). <3
